Memories of a lifetime flash by
Filled with joy and grief
Images of solitude pass by
Bringing loneliness and peace.
Friends have come and gone
Some have stood by
Some have understood
The dearest ones have moved on.
Moments of quiet longing
Unsung stories of wars raging
Within this shell of my being
Desperate for answers comforting.
The world is changing
Change is within everything
In a constant state of evolving
My heart has been hardening.
No longer so soft, so tender
No longer in a fool's paradise
Perfection is found
In being a wife and mother.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Forgiveness is an Abstract Concept
Forgiveness is such an abstract concept. It one of those issues that seem so easy to preach and so hard to follow. There are many readings for one who wants to understand it better. Most of them say forgive and forget to be happy. Really, that’s easy right? The simplest answer to this is No. Forgiveness is very individualistic. Everyday crimes are committed, people are hurt. Some are small and petty others are traumatic and fatal. Victims are counseled about how much better they will feel once they forgive those who committed the sins against them. In fact, it is the expectation of the society that the victim forgives the sinner. It is not the society’s fault either that there lies such an expectation. Crimes of various degrees committed have their own story behind them. Like they say, “One man’s ambrosia is another’s poison”; one man’s crime is another’s job. Mother Nature sees to it that everything balances out. Yet why is forgiveness so hard to achieve. How can you forgive? As I write this, there are various thoughts running in my head. I start to think about the simple mistakes forgiven and the more complex issues I need to address.
Realization is that forgiveness is a truth. One cannot forgive and be forgiven for the same mistakes over and over again. It is a one time only deal. Let me be clearer as to why I referred forgiveness to be an abstract concept. The word forgiveness always brings to mind a picture of the victim peaceful and content uttering the words “I forgive”. Its really not that simple. Firstly there has to be crime committed that has traumatized the victim. Secondly this crime has to be recognized by all persons involved. This is the abstract concept. Many crimes are not easily recognized. 9/11 was an easily recognized crime with thousands of dead and their families as victims and a terrorist group as the offender. People loosing their homes and jobs in 2008 due to toxic mortgage loans is also a crime. We can recognize the victims in this easily. Who is the offender? Is it the CEO’s of banks that processed these loan applications or people who work in these banks or people who approved these loans or are they the victims themselves who applied for these loans knowing the risks of such? Consider a simpler issue; fights between an incompatible husband and wife affecting their entire families, children, parents, in-laws and siblings. Who is the offender, who is the victim? Who is at fault and who do you forgive? Only when such answers can be answered and acknowledged by all persons involved, forgiveness can flow.
If you are searching about forgiveness, then most articles you read explain the benefits of forgiveness. Every religion preaches about this. Forgiveness is the foundation of Christianity. However, none explain what truly forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a process, not a miracle. You cannot forgive someone who does not accept their atrocities against you and is committed to their way. In such a situation, the more you forgive and continue your relationship with your offender the more you will become the offender and less of the victim, because, you are allowing those atrocities against you. It happens willingly. In order for forgiveness to take place you need to first acknowledge that you have become a victim and remove yourself from the hurtful relationship. When you do this, realize that forgiveness does not come immediately. You feel cheated, abused and truly traumatized. Pity follows next and close second to it is fear of loneliness. This may cause you to forget all that has happened to you and make you want to forgive and return. Is this true forgiveness, No, this is fear. The want to return to way things were is so bad, that you are desperate to actually beg for forgiveness so that you can re-enter what you have known for so long.
Fear and forgiveness are complementary. You cannot achieve forgiveness with fear. So, if you leave fear behind, can you achieve forgiveness? Not as simple. Forgiveness is truly abstract. When you do leave fear behind, you realize that is harder to forgive than before. You begin to feel that you were ill-treated and used, victimized in short. You start on a journey of emotions you never expected to feel. You feel angry that you are being forced to deal with what you had not planned. You feel pity that this happened to you. You grieve for what is lost. You want to retaliate and cause the same to your offender. You basically want them to feel what you are feeling. The worst is when they don’t acknowledge your feelings and insist their behavior was faultless. In such a state of mind how do you accept what you have been taught all your life, Forgiveness? This is meaningless at this point. You seek religion and don’t find a clear answer. There are two paths now, you want to pass your hurt so someone can feel what you are feeling becoming an offender or don’t forgive and walk away to a fresh start. Which do you choose? My answer, don’t forgive walk away, sever all ties and let time take over. Let all what you are feeling pass over you. Give yourself time to feel all the emotions of anger and grief. Don’t forgive your offender, just live your life. Find who you are, what you are, what your interests are and give time a chance to heal. One sunny misty morning, or a snowy afternoon or a bathroom break in the middle of the night, suddenly you will realize that forgiveness has followed you and you are no longer tormented by the fact of forgiveness. You did not have to declare to yourself and others that you have forgiven the impossible. It has happened on its own in time. It was truly a process, an abstract concept of an emotional state, not a daily declaration.
Realization is that forgiveness is a truth. One cannot forgive and be forgiven for the same mistakes over and over again. It is a one time only deal. Let me be clearer as to why I referred forgiveness to be an abstract concept. The word forgiveness always brings to mind a picture of the victim peaceful and content uttering the words “I forgive”. Its really not that simple. Firstly there has to be crime committed that has traumatized the victim. Secondly this crime has to be recognized by all persons involved. This is the abstract concept. Many crimes are not easily recognized. 9/11 was an easily recognized crime with thousands of dead and their families as victims and a terrorist group as the offender. People loosing their homes and jobs in 2008 due to toxic mortgage loans is also a crime. We can recognize the victims in this easily. Who is the offender? Is it the CEO’s of banks that processed these loan applications or people who work in these banks or people who approved these loans or are they the victims themselves who applied for these loans knowing the risks of such? Consider a simpler issue; fights between an incompatible husband and wife affecting their entire families, children, parents, in-laws and siblings. Who is the offender, who is the victim? Who is at fault and who do you forgive? Only when such answers can be answered and acknowledged by all persons involved, forgiveness can flow.
If you are searching about forgiveness, then most articles you read explain the benefits of forgiveness. Every religion preaches about this. Forgiveness is the foundation of Christianity. However, none explain what truly forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a process, not a miracle. You cannot forgive someone who does not accept their atrocities against you and is committed to their way. In such a situation, the more you forgive and continue your relationship with your offender the more you will become the offender and less of the victim, because, you are allowing those atrocities against you. It happens willingly. In order for forgiveness to take place you need to first acknowledge that you have become a victim and remove yourself from the hurtful relationship. When you do this, realize that forgiveness does not come immediately. You feel cheated, abused and truly traumatized. Pity follows next and close second to it is fear of loneliness. This may cause you to forget all that has happened to you and make you want to forgive and return. Is this true forgiveness, No, this is fear. The want to return to way things were is so bad, that you are desperate to actually beg for forgiveness so that you can re-enter what you have known for so long.
Fear and forgiveness are complementary. You cannot achieve forgiveness with fear. So, if you leave fear behind, can you achieve forgiveness? Not as simple. Forgiveness is truly abstract. When you do leave fear behind, you realize that is harder to forgive than before. You begin to feel that you were ill-treated and used, victimized in short. You start on a journey of emotions you never expected to feel. You feel angry that you are being forced to deal with what you had not planned. You feel pity that this happened to you. You grieve for what is lost. You want to retaliate and cause the same to your offender. You basically want them to feel what you are feeling. The worst is when they don’t acknowledge your feelings and insist their behavior was faultless. In such a state of mind how do you accept what you have been taught all your life, Forgiveness? This is meaningless at this point. You seek religion and don’t find a clear answer. There are two paths now, you want to pass your hurt so someone can feel what you are feeling becoming an offender or don’t forgive and walk away to a fresh start. Which do you choose? My answer, don’t forgive walk away, sever all ties and let time take over. Let all what you are feeling pass over you. Give yourself time to feel all the emotions of anger and grief. Don’t forgive your offender, just live your life. Find who you are, what you are, what your interests are and give time a chance to heal. One sunny misty morning, or a snowy afternoon or a bathroom break in the middle of the night, suddenly you will realize that forgiveness has followed you and you are no longer tormented by the fact of forgiveness. You did not have to declare to yourself and others that you have forgiven the impossible. It has happened on its own in time. It was truly a process, an abstract concept of an emotional state, not a daily declaration.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Lady in Red
She was wearing a red silk blouse with a grey pencil skirt and pearls maybe her grandmother's. Her hair was perfectly silky, straight and cut in the most trendy diagonal forward style. The shoes! lets not even go there. Overall, she looked like she was on the runway modelling Coco Chanel. It was however in the dim lit restaurant where my husband and I were on our date, that she caught my eye. Then I saw her in closer proximity her hand entwined with that of her young son. It must have been her husband pushing the stroller with their twins, two gorgeous girls dressed in pink.
Nervously I gave her a faint half smile as she was led past our table by the waitress. Immediately I mumbled to my husband, "Hon, did you see that?" He raised his head above the menu he was so intently reading and said "Yes, it looks so delicious" he said. I was appalled by his honesty and angrily asked him "What do you mean?" He said "Steak, that's what looks so delicious" pointing to the picture of the steak dinner on the menu. I was relieved and then told him "No, not that, did you see that bitch, she did not even smile at me." He looked around and not finding the object of my reference, asked me, "Which one is it? Do I know her?" "Hope not" I said and looked in the direction of the lady in red who by now had settled in a booth and was sipping water. He followed my lead and said "The one in red?" I nodded. "Where do you know her from?" I was irritated by his questions, "It does not matter, some people, think they are so out of this world, they think they we are the dirt beneath them. They think they are Mrs. World" I went on with my tirade. By now, my husband had politely excused us from ordering. "Do you know her" he asked again. "No, and if I did I would never smile at her again or acknowledge her next time" I replied vehemently. The waitress came back again to take our orders. My husband ordered the Steak dinner, a Sprite and a brownie with ice-cream. It was my turn and I placed my order of Fajitas with a side of guacamole and coffee. "What made you so upset hon?" he gently prodded me. "She looks so gorgeous, who can say she has 3 kids? Look at her, I think that's is a size 2 she is wearing" I said with tears in my eyes. "You look nice too" he tried to remind me. "Don't take me the wrong way sweetheart, you know you'll look better than her, if you really wanted to. All you need to do is watch your portion sizes and really cut down on that rice and sweet tooth of yours." He failed to see the impact of his words on me. Not getting any response from me, he said " Honey, I am six foot four, and almost 50 pounds heavier than you, yet our plates and portions we eat are the same at home. Also, you have stopped exercising since the kids, give yourself time."
"You don't understand hon, its easy for you to say, you are a man, and loose weight by just thinking about it. I have tried everything, but I am hungry after working for 8 hours so I eat. She must be rich and have people cooking and cleaning for he, that's why she looks so perfect. Where do I have such luxuries? I don't have time to cook and eat healthy and to exercise. Who will take care of the kids, if I am exercising?" I argued back.
Our dinner arrived and looked delicious, especially the brownie. I took one bite of it and went back in time to the beloved memories of my skinny jeans. You see after being the chubby kid growing up and everyone but myself encouraging me to loose weight, I only rebelled. It was only after being diagnosed with hypothyroidism and realizing that if I did not loose weight I would be obese pretty soon, is when I lost weight. I went onto to becoming a health nut jazzercising my way to a size 6. That's when I met my husband. However, since it was me in the relationship that could conceive and have children, my body also gained a little more than 40 pounds, not once but two times in 3 years. The result of it being blessed with two beautiful children and a road map of its success for the world to see if I were to wear a bikini. After, struggling with the fluctuating hormones and medicines and loosing five pounds only to gain ten back I gave up dieting after the birth of my second child and tried to focus on something more healthy like writing.
"You will if you keep trying instead of quitting and stealing my desert." I heard a voice among my thoughts. It was that of my husband. I was transported back to the current hour of the lady in red. "They too suffer and are hungry after all that is what a diet is about. If you want it that bad, you must be willing to be hungry" he said and continued chewing on his steak.
I glanced in her direction and noticed that she now was chewing something, wait what is that on her fork, I strained to see as I ate another delicious piece of chocolate brownie. Maybe it was guacamole, it was green. "Its a lettuce leaf, she is eating a salad, stop staring at her" my husband said.
We finally finished eating and left a large enough tip for the hard working waitress. I picked up my purse and walked out of my booth and was almost ran over by an apologetic smiling lady in red. "I am so sorry, I was not looking where I was going." she said. "Not a problem. You look great and you have beautiful children" I beamed and complimented her. "Thank you so much, they are my sister's though, I will never be that lucky" she replied back.
We parted our ways. On the way home I rubbed my post maternity pouch and kissed my husband and thanked God for the Luck of motherhood that had been bestowed upon me. I realized that I would not trade my body with anybody, not even the Lady in red.
Nervously I gave her a faint half smile as she was led past our table by the waitress. Immediately I mumbled to my husband, "Hon, did you see that?" He raised his head above the menu he was so intently reading and said "Yes, it looks so delicious" he said. I was appalled by his honesty and angrily asked him "What do you mean?" He said "Steak, that's what looks so delicious" pointing to the picture of the steak dinner on the menu. I was relieved and then told him "No, not that, did you see that bitch, she did not even smile at me." He looked around and not finding the object of my reference, asked me, "Which one is it? Do I know her?" "Hope not" I said and looked in the direction of the lady in red who by now had settled in a booth and was sipping water. He followed my lead and said "The one in red?" I nodded. "Where do you know her from?" I was irritated by his questions, "It does not matter, some people, think they are so out of this world, they think they we are the dirt beneath them. They think they are Mrs. World" I went on with my tirade. By now, my husband had politely excused us from ordering. "Do you know her" he asked again. "No, and if I did I would never smile at her again or acknowledge her next time" I replied vehemently. The waitress came back again to take our orders. My husband ordered the Steak dinner, a Sprite and a brownie with ice-cream. It was my turn and I placed my order of Fajitas with a side of guacamole and coffee. "What made you so upset hon?" he gently prodded me. "She looks so gorgeous, who can say she has 3 kids? Look at her, I think that's is a size 2 she is wearing" I said with tears in my eyes. "You look nice too" he tried to remind me. "Don't take me the wrong way sweetheart, you know you'll look better than her, if you really wanted to. All you need to do is watch your portion sizes and really cut down on that rice and sweet tooth of yours." He failed to see the impact of his words on me. Not getting any response from me, he said " Honey, I am six foot four, and almost 50 pounds heavier than you, yet our plates and portions we eat are the same at home. Also, you have stopped exercising since the kids, give yourself time."
"You don't understand hon, its easy for you to say, you are a man, and loose weight by just thinking about it. I have tried everything, but I am hungry after working for 8 hours so I eat. She must be rich and have people cooking and cleaning for he, that's why she looks so perfect. Where do I have such luxuries? I don't have time to cook and eat healthy and to exercise. Who will take care of the kids, if I am exercising?" I argued back.
Our dinner arrived and looked delicious, especially the brownie. I took one bite of it and went back in time to the beloved memories of my skinny jeans. You see after being the chubby kid growing up and everyone but myself encouraging me to loose weight, I only rebelled. It was only after being diagnosed with hypothyroidism and realizing that if I did not loose weight I would be obese pretty soon, is when I lost weight. I went onto to becoming a health nut jazzercising my way to a size 6. That's when I met my husband. However, since it was me in the relationship that could conceive and have children, my body also gained a little more than 40 pounds, not once but two times in 3 years. The result of it being blessed with two beautiful children and a road map of its success for the world to see if I were to wear a bikini. After, struggling with the fluctuating hormones and medicines and loosing five pounds only to gain ten back I gave up dieting after the birth of my second child and tried to focus on something more healthy like writing.
"You will if you keep trying instead of quitting and stealing my desert." I heard a voice among my thoughts. It was that of my husband. I was transported back to the current hour of the lady in red. "They too suffer and are hungry after all that is what a diet is about. If you want it that bad, you must be willing to be hungry" he said and continued chewing on his steak.
I glanced in her direction and noticed that she now was chewing something, wait what is that on her fork, I strained to see as I ate another delicious piece of chocolate brownie. Maybe it was guacamole, it was green. "Its a lettuce leaf, she is eating a salad, stop staring at her" my husband said.
We finally finished eating and left a large enough tip for the hard working waitress. I picked up my purse and walked out of my booth and was almost ran over by an apologetic smiling lady in red. "I am so sorry, I was not looking where I was going." she said. "Not a problem. You look great and you have beautiful children" I beamed and complimented her. "Thank you so much, they are my sister's though, I will never be that lucky" she replied back.
We parted our ways. On the way home I rubbed my post maternity pouch and kissed my husband and thanked God for the Luck of motherhood that had been bestowed upon me. I realized that I would not trade my body with anybody, not even the Lady in red.
Friday, September 12, 2008
The simple life
It was in the hallway I saw three guys huddled together quietly talking, I said to myself, there we go again, talking about engines. I work in a company that manufactures huge equipment, not bigger than the egos of all men working there. The machoism and competitiveness often leave much undesirable for me. When I see men talking in the hallway at work, I always hear technical jargon being tossed around as if they were in a competition to see who would be awarded the gold medal for the best lingo in this particular category. Often on the pretense of having an untied shoe lace I have strained to hear the conversation and given up not making any sense of its true meaning and effectiveness. This time however, to my sheer surprise I heard one of the men mumbling about how his son follows the vacuum cleaner around. Such conversations are a rare occurrence in my world here if not unheard of between men.
My experiences in the corporate world have been enlightening. I have learned the hard way how easy it is for many people to distinguish between business and personal behavior. I find it impossible to learn how to be one without the other. The harsh reality of corporate structure has led to the evaporation of my idealism and simplicity. The workings are far more complex than need to be. I feel displaced in this era of hoarding, technology and your failure is my stepping stone to success kind of attitude.
When a company starts educating its employees about the ethical values that need to be followed to achieve success and become one of the top trusted companies, it also is sending a subtle message that many miss its interpretation. If you think hard you will start to realize that those ethical values have been discarded and created a "Me, My success, My promotion, My gains, Me, Me and Me" that has begun to hurt the company. A multi-billion dollar investment cannot sustain such a blow. The company needs to protect its interests, and thus the re-enforcement of ethical values at all levels of the company’s working model. This should work and fix the problem right? The answer is not so simple. This culture is not today’s problem, it’s that of tomorrow. It’s evolved with us since eons of ages. It lies ahead of us becoming the norm of the ever developing and growing human population. Can this company complete a successful enforcement of its ethical values on the members of today’s "Me" cultural society? Actually is it even ethical of this company to enforce its ethical standards on the un-abiding citizens?
People are working longer hours to earn more for the fancier cars, houses, cell-phones and i-pods that they can’t really afford. Ever since the good old days of cash has been replaced by the virtual money we can afford through means of credit cards and zero percent interest, even the middle class celebrate their six year olds birthday by hosting a spa party. The absurdity of such a notion would make our previous generations turn in their graves. Everyone wants to eat gourmet every single day. Googling for a recipe lands you in the world of unheard cheeses and wines. Whatever happened to the simple days of rice, vegetables and fruit. Our generation finds humor and appeal in a photo of a small child of parents who live on less than a dollar a day toting a Gucci bib. We have women who find pleasure in renting purses for $ 300.00 a week, living in a mansion that cost them maybe 3 lifetimes to pay for complaining about the $3.64 on a gallon of milk.
This is the age where honest, hardworking and simple people are a minority. You are an outcaste if you don’t know who Bobby Trendy or Vera Wang is. To live up to this artificial sense of well-being is so overrated that you will hardly find engineers standing in corners discussing their infinitely worth precious irreplaceable entities like their children. So when you do find it, enjoy in its simplicity and innocence and hope like I do that this "Me" culture will change someday that we all will no longer need to enforce ethical values because they are part of our culture.
My experiences in the corporate world have been enlightening. I have learned the hard way how easy it is for many people to distinguish between business and personal behavior. I find it impossible to learn how to be one without the other. The harsh reality of corporate structure has led to the evaporation of my idealism and simplicity. The workings are far more complex than need to be. I feel displaced in this era of hoarding, technology and your failure is my stepping stone to success kind of attitude.
When a company starts educating its employees about the ethical values that need to be followed to achieve success and become one of the top trusted companies, it also is sending a subtle message that many miss its interpretation. If you think hard you will start to realize that those ethical values have been discarded and created a "Me, My success, My promotion, My gains, Me, Me and Me" that has begun to hurt the company. A multi-billion dollar investment cannot sustain such a blow. The company needs to protect its interests, and thus the re-enforcement of ethical values at all levels of the company’s working model. This should work and fix the problem right? The answer is not so simple. This culture is not today’s problem, it’s that of tomorrow. It’s evolved with us since eons of ages. It lies ahead of us becoming the norm of the ever developing and growing human population. Can this company complete a successful enforcement of its ethical values on the members of today’s "Me" cultural society? Actually is it even ethical of this company to enforce its ethical standards on the un-abiding citizens?
People are working longer hours to earn more for the fancier cars, houses, cell-phones and i-pods that they can’t really afford. Ever since the good old days of cash has been replaced by the virtual money we can afford through means of credit cards and zero percent interest, even the middle class celebrate their six year olds birthday by hosting a spa party. The absurdity of such a notion would make our previous generations turn in their graves. Everyone wants to eat gourmet every single day. Googling for a recipe lands you in the world of unheard cheeses and wines. Whatever happened to the simple days of rice, vegetables and fruit. Our generation finds humor and appeal in a photo of a small child of parents who live on less than a dollar a day toting a Gucci bib. We have women who find pleasure in renting purses for $ 300.00 a week, living in a mansion that cost them maybe 3 lifetimes to pay for complaining about the $3.64 on a gallon of milk.
This is the age where honest, hardworking and simple people are a minority. You are an outcaste if you don’t know who Bobby Trendy or Vera Wang is. To live up to this artificial sense of well-being is so overrated that you will hardly find engineers standing in corners discussing their infinitely worth precious irreplaceable entities like their children. So when you do find it, enjoy in its simplicity and innocence and hope like I do that this "Me" culture will change someday that we all will no longer need to enforce ethical values because they are part of our culture.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Greatness
After reading the speeches from the 2008 Democratic Convention I had a moment where I could feel what it must feel like to arrive among tens of thousands of people their hands together resonating thunder and to stand under a light so bright, and it surely felt worthy. I was tempted to experience this greatness. Since I see this nowhere in the near future, I said to myself, I can at least think about this in more detail.
This kind of greatness that tempted me so much, I realize only a selected few receive. What drives millions to support a great one? Is it their need, desperation, final hope for a better future or is it the Charm, Charisma, baritone voice, portrayed confidence or is it just plain simple destiny to be the chosen one? Factoring intelligence into this equation is a dubious thought. For there have been many a case where this visibly has taken the back seat. One mistake after the next, has still led to support by millions even if it is fewer. What explains this audacity if not destiny? Not every person above the average Joe can rise to such fame through hard work, not missing opportunities and being in the right place at the right time. Destiny is what puts you in the right place at the right time. Let us not be fooled by thinking it is just our destiny. It is an extremely huge concept to tackle. The destiny that puts the chosen one into Greatness is not just entirely his or hers. It is that of everything that compasses existence. To bask in such greatness is the destiny of the chosen one and to make sure the chosen one attains greatness is the destiny of all millions making the choice. They have to co-exist.
These thoughts further lead me to think what is Greatness? Does it have a definition? It took me back to the day my father asked me, "What is beauty?" That moment I realized that there are various forms of beauty. The ocean is beautiful in someone perception, but to me it is extremly terrifying. Since there is no one definition of beauty and it has been told that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, I thought to myself, Greatness is a perception also. What is great to one may not be to the other.
My husband recently told me "Some people continually strive for greatness when they don't realize they've already achieved it. It's the perception of what greatness is, that is the true question. The answer may be different for everyone. Who is greater, the mother who feeds, clothes, raises her two kids in a well-nurtured environment or the President of the U.S.? I know what the answer would be for her children." I love this man. He always uplifts me. He is the answer to all my questions. His simple words told me that I have been looking for Greatness when I have already achieved it. As a mother of our children, we have been basking in the glory and greatness of Parenthood for almost 4 years now. It is such a blessing to have. I realized that this is the greatness I am striving for and that this is what soothes my soul everyday. I want my kids and husband and other family members to think I am great. This is what I want and pray for everyday. Family is the root of my Greatness and I plan on nourishing it with all I have.
This realization brought me peace that I am part of the equation. I don’t have to be the chosen one to experience greatness and that it just lies in my perception. Knowing that my destiny to witness greatness is part of what achieved it is immensely satisfying and no longer am I tempted by the experience of greatness.
This kind of greatness that tempted me so much, I realize only a selected few receive. What drives millions to support a great one? Is it their need, desperation, final hope for a better future or is it the Charm, Charisma, baritone voice, portrayed confidence or is it just plain simple destiny to be the chosen one? Factoring intelligence into this equation is a dubious thought. For there have been many a case where this visibly has taken the back seat. One mistake after the next, has still led to support by millions even if it is fewer. What explains this audacity if not destiny? Not every person above the average Joe can rise to such fame through hard work, not missing opportunities and being in the right place at the right time. Destiny is what puts you in the right place at the right time. Let us not be fooled by thinking it is just our destiny. It is an extremely huge concept to tackle. The destiny that puts the chosen one into Greatness is not just entirely his or hers. It is that of everything that compasses existence. To bask in such greatness is the destiny of the chosen one and to make sure the chosen one attains greatness is the destiny of all millions making the choice. They have to co-exist.
These thoughts further lead me to think what is Greatness? Does it have a definition? It took me back to the day my father asked me, "What is beauty?" That moment I realized that there are various forms of beauty. The ocean is beautiful in someone perception, but to me it is extremly terrifying. Since there is no one definition of beauty and it has been told that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, I thought to myself, Greatness is a perception also. What is great to one may not be to the other.
My husband recently told me "Some people continually strive for greatness when they don't realize they've already achieved it. It's the perception of what greatness is, that is the true question. The answer may be different for everyone. Who is greater, the mother who feeds, clothes, raises her two kids in a well-nurtured environment or the President of the U.S.? I know what the answer would be for her children." I love this man. He always uplifts me. He is the answer to all my questions. His simple words told me that I have been looking for Greatness when I have already achieved it. As a mother of our children, we have been basking in the glory and greatness of Parenthood for almost 4 years now. It is such a blessing to have. I realized that this is the greatness I am striving for and that this is what soothes my soul everyday. I want my kids and husband and other family members to think I am great. This is what I want and pray for everyday. Family is the root of my Greatness and I plan on nourishing it with all I have.
This realization brought me peace that I am part of the equation. I don’t have to be the chosen one to experience greatness and that it just lies in my perception. Knowing that my destiny to witness greatness is part of what achieved it is immensely satisfying and no longer am I tempted by the experience of greatness.
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